Something worth leaving behind
by Sister Golden Hair
Summary: How do you tell someone that doesn't know you exsist that you love them? Is it possible? Do you think that you could do it?
1. Where it all starts

Disclaimer: First, I would like to say, that I own no one, save for a few characters. Secondly, this story start's out several months after the scourning of the Shire. Third, since Estella is never introuduced as a character, I'm making everything about her up: her looks, her intrest, her personality-everything. I think that's all. Now, on to the story!!!!

* * *

She was beautiful. Truly beautiful. How could he never had noticed before? _'Maybe because you were two busy helping her brother tie her to tree's' _a nagging voice in the back his mind whispered. Merry Brandybuck scratched his chin thoughtfully, as he watched Estella Bolger laugh at something her brother, Fatty, had said. Merry liked to watch her laugh. He liked the way those small dimples appeared in her cheeks. He longed to touch her long, blonde colored hair.  
  
"Are you okay, Merry?" His cousin and dearest friend, Pippin, asked. "You're looking a little flushed. You're not coming down with something, are you?"  
  
Merry sighed. "No, Pip, I'm not coming down with anything." He smiled at his cousin.  
  
Merry and Pippin had come to check on their friend, Fatty Bolger. He'd been doing poorly lately. Though he'd gained much of his normal weight back, he still remained sick on and off, ever since they rescued him from the lockholes several months before. His sister, Estella, had taken on the task of being his caretaker.  
  
"Now, Freddie, you come sit down here with your friends." Estella was telling him, as she guided him to the table. Fatty shrugged her off.  
  
"Stella, I'm perfectly capable of finding the table for myself." He said, rolling his eyes at his two good friends.  
  
Estella flicked her dark blue eyes on her brother. "I know. Sorry." She turned to Merry and Pippin. "I just can't help wanting to take care of him. I guess it's the motherly instict in me."  
  
Pippin and Fatty both laughed, but Merry felt his face turn faintly red. "Are you sure you're okay, Merry?" Pippin asked again. He turned to Estella and Fatty. "He's been looking flushed all afternoon."  
  
Estella ruffled her brother's hair, the exact same shade of blonde as her own. "I hope you're not coming down with what Freddie has, Merry." She smiled at him, and Merry felt his heart flutter slightly.  
  
"I've got nothing, 'Stella, except a few bad memories." Fatty chided her. "Now stop mollycodding us. Don't you have friends of you're own to visit with?" He raised his left eyebrow at her. "What about Peony? What's she doing today?"  
  
Estella shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know....." She trailed off.  
  
"Well, why don't you go find out?"  
  
Estella huffed a little. "If you want me to leave, Fredegar, why don't you just say so?"  
  
"Fine. I want you to leave."  
  
"_Fine_!" Estella huffed a little more, before grabbing her cloak, and rushing out the door. She slammed it loudly behind her.  
  
"Don't slam the door!" Fatty called after her. Merry felt a sudden sense of lose.  
  
"She didn't have to leave." He told Fatty, in what he hoped was a non- concerning voice. Pippin shot him a strange look.  
  
"Yes, she did." Fatty rolled his blue eyes again. "She won't leave me alone anymore!"  
  
"She's just worried about you, Fatty." Pippin said gently. It still astounded Merry to see just how much his young cousin had grown, not just in body, but also in mind. "Did you ever find out exactly what happened to her while Sarumon took over the Shire?"  
  
Fatty shook his head. "No. All I know is that she must have been beaten badly. I saw the scars on her back once, while she was bathing." His cheeks turned a little pink. "I walked in on her. I didn't realize she was in there."  
  
"But she won't tell you what happened?" Merry asked, sitting his mug of ale down. Fatty shook his head. "It took me forever to get her to tell me what happened to Mother." He said sadly.  
  
Merry nodded his head. Fatty had revealed what had happened to his parents. His Father had been one of the first ones to rebel. He had been killed immeaditly. Their Mother had died shortly after Fatty had been taken to the lockholes. According to Estella, she had gone mad at the thought's of her dead husband and her only son being locked away. She had taken her own life in the end. Estella said wasn't sure how she had even done so. All she knew was she found her Mother lying in her bed, clutching a small painting of her husband. Fatty had taken over their small Crickhollow farm when he was well enough to do so, and Estella took over the household duties.  
  
"Maybe I was a bit too hard on the lass." Fatty mused, more to himself than to his friends. "So, have you heard from Frodo or Sam of late?" He asked, completly changing the subject.  
  
"No, not here lately." Merry answered. "Sam and Rosie are busy with wedding plans, and Frodo..........well, Frodo hasn't been in much of a visiting mood since we returned."  
  
Fatty nodded. Merry and Pippin had told him and Estella what had happened while they were gone. In return, Estella and Fatty(mostly Estella)filled them in on what happened in the Shire. They had asked Estella to tell them what had been done to her, but she said she couldn't talk about it. That had been several months before. Apparently, she still couldn't talk about it.  
  
"Well, I wonder if Stella will let me work tomorrow?" Fatty asked, laughter in his voice. "I didn't expect someone to have this kind of control over me till I was married!"  
  
Merry and Pippin smirked at each other. It was common knowledge around all of Buckland that Fatty Bolger had been courting Azaelia Chubb for quite sometime. It was expected that the two would marry before too much longer.  
  
"Is Estella going to stay here after it happens?" Pippin asked.  
  
"After what happens?" Fatty looked up, grinning slightly.  
  
Pippin put his finger to his chin, as if he were in deep thought. "Hmmm. I wonder." He rolled his eyes. "After you marry Azaelia, you dolt!"  
  
Fatty ignored the sally made at his expense. "This is her home, so she'll stay here. Until she marries her own lad."  
  
Merry almost choked on his ale. Sputtering and coughing his looked at his friend. "Does she have any plans to do that?"  
  
Fatty gave him a strange look, similar to the one Pippin had given him earlier. "No, not that I know of. Why?"  
  
"Oh, I just.............wondered." Merry said. Pippin, noticing that his friend looked in need a serious help, stood up.  
  
"Well, Master Fatty, it's been a pleasure, but I believe my sputtering companion and I should be on our way." He said. Merry sent him a grateful look.  
  
"Yes," He added as he stood. "We have some things to do at home."  
  
"Well, that you for visiting." Fatty told them. You two better come back soon!"  
  
"We will. Please tell Estella we said good-bye." Pippin replied.  
  
Once they were outside, and had mounted their ponies, Pippin glanced at his friend, who seemed to be in his own world. "Why don't you just admit it, Merry?"  
  
Merry stared at him. "Admit what?"  
  
Pippin grinned and dugged his heels in the his ponies sides. "That you fancy Estella Bolger." He replied, as he rode away. 


	2. Adventures in babysitting

**One Month Later**

Merry held the unruly five year old in his arms. She squirmed to get free. "No, Clover!" He turned to her twin, who was throwing handfuls of flour in the air. "Daffodil! Stop that! Pippin, grab her!"  
  
Pippin, who was caring the twins little brother, 6 month old Wilcomb, better known as Wil. The baby was wailing his lungs out. "I can't, Merry! Do you have any idea how to keep him quiet?"  
  
Merry shook his head. Just then, Clover bit his arm in an atempt to get away. "Ouch!" He sat her down so he could inspect the bite. She, and Daffodil, ran off in the direction of his bedroom. He ran after them. "Girls! Come back here! Pippin, if we get out of this alive, I'm going to _kill you_!"  
  
Why was he going to kill Pippin? Well, it was his idea to sit for Pearl and Everard. Pearl was Pippin's oldest sister, and Clover, Daffodil, and Wil were her children. Merry'd had no idea how wild they were. _'Now you know how your parents felt when you and Pippin were this age.' _That voice, that sounded an awful lot like his Mother, said. Merry was an only child, and had little experience with children. Pippin, being the youngest child, had never taken care of another Hobbit. Why, oh why, did they volunteer to do this? The children had only been here for a little over two hours! That meant they still had at least four hours before Pearl picked them up. What were they going to do? Then it hit him like a bolt of lightning.  
  
"Estella!" He said, over the racket Wil was making. Pippin rolled his eyes.  
  
"Merry, this is no time to talk about your crush-"  
  
"No!" Merry interrupted him. "She could help us! She used to babysit for her Aunt Hilda all the time, remember?"  
  
Pippin's eyes lit up. "That's right! She did!" He handed Wil to Merry. "You hold him, I'll run and get Estella!"  
  
"What about the girls?" Merry asked. He could hear them in his bedroom. Lord only knew what they were up to in there.  
  
"Leave them be." Pippin replied. "Whatever damage they do, we can just fix later." Pippin grabbed his cloak, and wrapped his red scarf around his neck. "I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
After Pippin left, Merry walked back and forth with Wil, trying to calm him down. _'I've fought Orc's and Witch Kings, but a tiny baby is getting the better of me!_'' He thought to himself. Finally, after what felt like five hours, even though it was probably only fifteen minutes, Pippin returned with Estella.  
  
"Here, give him to me." She said, taking the baby. "Did Pearl leave him any bottles?" Merry nodded and handed her one of them. "Do you have any honey?"  
  
"It's in the top cabinet." Pippin told her. "Why?"  
  
Estella grinned. "You'll see." She got the honey, added it to the warm bottle of milk, and then gave it to the baby. "You two go get those girls under control." She sat in a chair, and began to rock the baby, singing him a song. Merry didn't reconized it, and wondered if Estella had made it up herself.  
  
_You been lookin' for love all around the world  
  
Don't you know that this girl's still free?  
  
Why not me?  
  
So, you finally come down to your old hometown  
  
Your Shire girl's been waitin' patiently  
  
Why not me?  
  
Why not me on a rainy day?  
  
Why not me to love your cares away?  
  
Why not me?  
  
Why not me when the night's get cold?  
  
Why not me when your growin' old?  
  
Why not me?  
  
You've been searchin' from here, out to old Gondor  
  
Ain't it time you noticed the girl next door?  
  
Why not me?  
  
You just had to see if the world was round  
  
It's time to see how could settlin' down could be  
  
Why not me?  
  
Why not me on a rainy day?  
  
Why not me to love your cares away?  
  
Why not me?  
  
Why not me when the night gets cold?  
  
Why not me when your growin' old?  
  
Why not me?  
  
_By the time Estella had finished the song, all three children had quieted down to listen. The baby was fast asleep in her arms, the nipple of the bottle still in his mouth. The twins were still standing, but the two of them were eating the cookies Pippin had given them, and being quiet. Merry was in shock. It seemed like Estella had been singing that song to _him_, especially that part about 'old Gondor'. He never knew that she had such a pretty singing voice.  
  
"Where did you learn that song?" He asked. Her face turned slightly red, and she shrugged.  
  
"I just picked it up somewhere." She said.  
  
"It was pretty. Sing another one." Clover said, climbing into Merry's lap. He held the red-headed child in his arms, and she cuddled against him. He liked the way this felt, holding a child. Daffodil had perched herself in Pippin's lap and was nodding in agreement with her sister.  
  
"Okay." Estella said, her face turning red again. She seemed to be in thought for a moment, then began to sing.  
  
_Hear that lonesome whipperwill?  
  
He sounds too blue to fly  
  
Those midnight stars are wanning low  
  
I'm so lonesome I could cry  
  
I've never seen a night so long  
  
When time goes crawling by  
  
The moon just went behind a cloud  
  
To hide it's face and cry  
  
Did you ever see a robin weep?  
  
When leaves begin to die  
  
That mean's he's lost his will to live  
  
I'm so lonesome I could cry  
  
The silence of a fallin' star  
  
Lights up a purple sky  
  
As I wonder where you are  
  
I'm so lonesome I could cry  
  
_She finshed her second song, and Merry felt funny. That song had too, struck a cord in him_. 'Am I so lonesome I could cry?'_ He wondered. Maybe not quite that bad. The way Estella sang it though, was enough to make anyone cry.  
  
Wil slept through most of the afternoon, and after they finally got the twins settled down, Merry had fun playing with them. He, Pippin, and Estella taught them some games that they had played as children. They were all worn out when Pearl and Everard came for their children.  
  
"Well," Estella said, slumping in her chair a bit. "I guess I should head on home."  
  
She had her eyes shut, so she didn't see Pippin nod encouragingly at his cousin. "Er, um, may I walk you?" Merry asked. Estella opened one eye, and smiled at him slightly.  
  
"Okay, then." She said. She stood up slowly.  
  
Merry didn't quite know what to say as they walked along the road. "Um........."  
  
"Have you and Pippin gotten an invatation to Sam and Rosie's wedding yet?" Estella asked.  
  
"Oh, yeah, we did." He answered. "I can't believe that they suggested that everyone bring a.......you know." He couldn't even bring himself to say it.  
  
"Are you taking anyone?" Estella asked. "I know Pippin's taking Peony Boffin's cousin, Diamond. She nearly had a heartattack when he asked her."  
  
Merry laughed. "Yeah, Pippin fretted over how to ask her for two weeks. But, no, I'm not taking anyone yet."  
  
"Oh," Estella smiled at him coyly. "No one's asked me yet."  
  
Merry nodded, then realized what she was hinting at. They were nearly to her front door. "Um, would you like to go with me?" He asked. _Why_ did his face have to go red now?!  
  
Estella went red too. "Yes, I'd like that very much." She said, smiling at him. "Good-bye Merry." Then, she slipped through her front door before Merry could say another word.  
  
As he walked away, he hummed that first song she had sang to the children.


End file.
